A Lord of the Rings 4/20 rambling!

 

Gandalf the Grey(and later the White) Perhaps Middle-Earth's most reckless stoner.  Lover of the Hobbit's pipe-weed, and decision maker that perhaps enjoys Old Toby just a bit too much!

Lord of the Rings, one of cinema's most satisfying adventures, and one of literature's most complicated and rich stories ever told! I recently felt the call to this adventure again, and just like every other time thoroughly enjoyed reliving the fight to save Middle-Earth from the ever-encroaching darkness of the east.  It wasn't until nearly the end of Frodo and Sam's perilous quest to destroy the ring of power that I realized that Gandalf may have been the most stoner wizard in all the land.

Back up to very early in the adventure, before Saruman is revealed to be in league with the forces of Mordor, and Gandalf seeks his help.  Saruman scolds Gandalf for his over indulgent love of the halflings pipe weed in a very fleeting exchange over the subject.  So quickly that if you blink you'll miss it, and the Grey wizard seems to simply brush off the comment, almost like a teenager who is over his parent's shit would do.  While almost every LOTR fan is familiar with this scene, it does beg the question...was Saruman right?

While everything does work out in the end, as all major characters carry with them an armor even more durable than mithril(that being plot armor of course) I didn't realize until this particular viewing, but what the hell was Gandalf's actual plan? Lets recap.  The most powerful item in the entirety of Middle-Earth placed in the hands of a wee hobbit who wanted nothing to do with it(thanks uncle Bilbo!) and tasked with taking it to the fires of Mount Doom to be destroyed...holy shit dude!

Now of course the original plan was to send the Fellowship consisting of nine adventurers to deliver the ring to its fate, but four of those five were hobbits, two of which couldn't be trusted to not mess up the Shire(I do still love how Gandalf gave absolutely zero fucks about insulting Pippin to his face, "of all the inquisitive hobbits, Peregrin Took, you are the worst!" Gets me every time!) As well as four capable soldiers of the realm of various skillsets, and of course Gandalf himself.  But the entire thing falls apart before are afforded a chance to even smell Mordor.  

Boromir, a famed warrior of Gondor is slain protecting the halflings, and while Merry and Pippin are captured the three remaining capable fighters are forced to track them down to be rescued(all while Gandalf is supposedly dead at the bottom of a pit with a damn fire demon) leaving Frodo and Sam to journey alone.  So what exactly was the plan? 

 Even if the entire fellowship had made it to Mordor ready to rock Orc ass, the shear size of Sauron's armies within Mordor would have annihilated the nine and taken the ring.  Hell it wasn't even clear HOW to get in to Mordor, as Frodo and Sam's plan seemed to be rush in through the Black Gate when no one was looking, and it was Gollum, the Middle-Earth equivalent of a crackhead that even suggested maybe go a different way.  It just seems like maybe Gandalf was toking just a touch too much Old Toby when the most famously deranged and mentally rotted being in the land is making more sense!

But alas, the forces of good pulled off one hell of a diversion at the perfect moment, saving Frodo and Sam from untold torture and pain, and Gandalf was able to relax with a nice long pull of that good Middle-Earth shit! Happy 4/20, Hollyweirdos, enjoy, and be safe!

JD is one half of Goin' Hollywood, a film podcast hosted by two life long friends who love movies! Want more weird rantings and such, check out Goin' Hollywood, and stay weird!